About me’s are definitely not my strong suit considering it took me two months to decide what to write here and even now I’m still questioning it. I will try to provide the most information in a short span because I know how boring these can get.
I was born and raised (and still currently reside) in St. Louis, Missouri. I was raised by two divorced, but incredible, parents alongside my two older brothers. While they were playing sports, I was probably writing stories or singing my heart out. Went to high school and stuff and now I am currently working toward a BA in Psychology.
I’ll spare the sob stories of how I went through the hardest time of my life in my first couple years as a young teenager given that each family has its own issues that they encounter. All details aside, my life was changed forever. I looked toward alcohol and a LOT of partying to cover up what I was really feeling. The only time I would acknowledge my feelings was when I would write in the Notes app on my iPhone on the rare occasion that I was alone. Looking back on it, what I wrote was terrifying. Depressing. Suicidal. But no one knew. I didn’t even know. I don’t even know when I started writing or why. I guess I didn’t want anybody to know just how bad I was feeling so I did the one thing I knew, or thought, nobody would see.
Anyway, I partied hard. Until one day, I didn’t anymore. I changed the attitude toward my writing and pretended that I was motivated until I actually was. I realized how much pain I was actually suffering through and slowly eliminated negativity from my life. I began lifting weights and intuitively eating when I was 18 years old. Never did I realize that it would become a lifestyle for me. I have fallen in love with the progression of my physical health as it has taught me so much more about my mental health. Along with lifting, music and writing heavily contributed to my healing.
I also found peace with the skeletons in my closet. I learned to forgive others as well as myself. I will admit, forgiving is HARD. One of the hardest things I have ever done. It took me years to forgive those that hurt me. It took me even longer to forgive myself for all of the mistakes I made and for prolonging my own pain. But I did it.
I never realized how much writing has affected my life. In one way or another, I believe it saved me. It built me. I have fallen in love with who I am and the path that I have been on to become this. I defeated the odds and grew stronger from the cards that I was dealt and I would not change a thing. I want to share what I feel and what I have felt and how I live and who I have become in hopes that others will gain that same strength to keep going even when it feels impossible. I want to show the good, bad, and the ugly. I want to be real and I want real. I want people to learn from each other. To build each other. I want this site to be for those that want to fuse their ambitions alongside me 🙂