Feel

It’s okay to feel.

It’s okay to feel every damn emotion in your heart.

It is more than okay

Sometimes I forget to tell myself that; we all feel things so deeply.

And sometimes that is a good thing, to love deeply, to care deeply, to feel.

What about pain? Sadness?

Rejection? Confusion?

We feel those emotions with the same depth.

We feel the pain just as we feel the love,

Sometimes for the same reason.

And it is okay to feel that.

Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all.

It is what makes us human, it is what makes us grow

Direct the energy from the pain toward love, happiness.

Do not wish or ignore your feelings away

Let them speak to you, let them teach you.

Appreciate your depth.

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What is living?

“To me, it was never about becoming something. Instead, it was about becoming everything.”

I am sure each person that walks this earth has his own unique definition of what it means to truly live. Here I am, on my very first blog post that will probably be seen by no more than my supportive Facebook friends and family members, telling you that I do not have a definition for living. I was not born as Emily or with just one purpose in this world, nor was I born to follow a crowd and do as I am told. I was born as a being, just as you were. The idea behind truly living as a being is to ignore the artificial bullshit that the world has milked us with since day one. Clearly, none of us remember the moment we were born but I am sure we can all go back and agree on one thing and it is that we did not come out of the womb determined to earn millions, or to hurt people, or to sit at a 9-5 desk job Monday through Friday. We have been fed so many external factors that many of us have overlooked the internal ones that make up our essence. The true being. Your being is not your name, the clothes you wear, the words you say, etc. True being is who you are, it is your existence. Do you honestly believe that you were put on this earth to pay bills? To buy material items so that you can be considered superior? To forge your identity to build fraudulent relationships?

You EXIST. That is something truly spectacular, if you ask me. You exist in a way that nobody else ever has, nor will. That is why I believe there is no real definition of living, because in order to live, you must exist. And in order to exist, you must become one with your being. Look inward for life, not outward for another person’s definition. When you look elsewhere, you stop living and start imitating. Your existence in this world is so much more than the finite wall that society has built around you and tried to engrain in your mind. Living is infinite and like all other infinite things, there is no true definition.

 

I chose this as my first blog post because I knew this was supposed to be an introduction. It is impossible for me to write in one little post who I am, though, so I thought that giving an insight of who I believe we all are would be more beneficial. Onto the simple stuff, though. My name is Emily, I was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri. I never had a passion for writing until 2012, when I was so severely depressed that I thought I was going to kill myself. I know that that is very blunt to say, but that is what this is going to be all about: saying the things out loud that everybody is too afraid to because of the labels that small-minded people have created to attempt to limit humanity. I began to write every single thing that I was feeling in a Diary App on my phone. Most of what I wrote was that of my pain, my sadness. I honestly had no idea that it would help me heal. I began to write quotes, advice, and motivational paragraphs a few years later as I learned more about my inner being and found interest in the essence, emotions, and science of people. I was convinced that I was not the only one that had these thoughts and knew I needed to share them from my own perspective.

What makes your blog any different than the million other blogs that flood the internet?  What I write may not be Pinterest worthy nor may it ever be on a wall decal, but I do know one thing: it means something. It means everything. I want to write to give hope. To inspire. To reach the part of a person that he keeps hidden from the world. To show that the feelings we have that are not always the good ones are OKAY to have. More often than not, we are given strict definitions of things that take place in our lives and when we do not fulfill those definitions precisely, we feel as though we have failed. I believe that every last thing in this world is infinite and that there is no one way of going about doing something. A failure to one person could be success to another. It is a waste of being to live superficially just because the world said you had to do so. My hope is that I can help even just one person through the worst, or even the greatest, time of their life.

Just like my life, this blog will be a bunch of randomness jumbled into one big picture. I do not believe in guidelines or rules or normalcy. QUESTION EVERYTHING. I will share some of the most depressing thoughts that have ruled my mind just as I will share some of the most influential quotes that I have written. I will also probably just write my feelings, what I am doing a certain day, maybe updates on my life, who knows? This is about being real, none of that cookie cutter, cutesie, artsy blog shit. If you have made it this far on this post, thank you for reading. I hope you will follow me through this journey as I plan to follow you.

Also, please bare with me as I try to figure out WordPress. I am clearly new to this.